I love getting older. I know most women fight it and do everything possible to hold on to how they use to be, but I embrace the changes and love myself more and the world around me as they happen. I will be 45 years old this year and spent the first 35 years of my life worrying about what other people thought about me.
About 10 years ago, I was a single mother who was busting my “behind” to finish my education so I could support my child and make a good life for us. Sage was 3 years old, I was taking 18 credit hours of college to finish in time to begin a new school year teaching and we were living with my mother (oh my!). It was a very stressful and desperate time in my life. I can’t recall if it was an epiphany or something that gradually came to me, but I realized I can do this. I can handle this life that happened to me while I was waiting for the fairy tale and I can learn to love it.
I did more than learn to love it. I learned to cherish it! Every year I see and feel my body changing. It doesn’t bother me that I have reading glasses in every room of my house, my car, my classroom, and probably a few other places that I’ve forgotten. It doesn’t bother me that staying up late is 10’0 clock in my life now. It also doesn’t bother me that I sometimes take Motrin just for silly aches and pains in this aging body. My body isn’t perfect but it has gotten me to where I am and I like where I am.
Sage is 11 years old now. He’s a good boy. He loves to read and he says “yes, m’am” most of the time without being reminded. He holds doors for strangers and readily gives up his seat to someone else who doesn’t have one. He doesn’t remember me taking 18 credit hours a semester or graduating with honors. Those things aren’t important to him. He does know that his mother loves him and takes care of him. He gets irritated at me for checking behind him on his homework and for correcting him when he says politically incorrect things. It’s ok and I know this. He’s got about 25 more years before he realizes why I do these things.
I am so thankful it only took me 35 years to come to realization that my life is exactly what I want it to be. It is the perfect life for me and so I cherish it and embrace it whole heartidly!
Now, where did I put my reading glass?
Love, G
